Bipolar Disorder/Bi Polar?
So i'm 14 and ive never been happy in my skin. I can point out loads of things I hate about myself, before theres one good. I was a former self harmer, and stopped as a news years resolution and haven't thought about it since.
Right, I don't know if I have Bi=Polar or not? I have researched it a lot, and looked into it, but still not sure. My parents don't know I self harmerd, all they know is I have some trouble accepting myself for who I am. I have moved on from Self harm, and its a thing of the past.
There are days when I can be fine, happy, you know mid mood, normal, but when im alone indoors I start to hate myself because its the time where im alone and have my thoughts to myself without distractions and end up making myself feel like total shit ( excuse the language) and down. When I feel down, I point out to myself that i'll never be good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, just not enough. It really brings me down. But then if I fight back those feelings and tell myself that I may not be skinny or pretty but hey im me, I cant change anything so why bother, I quickly go into a happy ish sort of mood. I accept myself, do my hair, makeup, and smile in front of the mirror, name all the things I love about myself. This varies. Theres never been a day when im just depressed. I always end up picking my mood up and letting go of all the negative thoughts and everything.
I am a bit of a worrier as well, so now I have researched about Bi Polar I am making myself over react telling myself I have it, when I know theres a possibility I don't, so that's why im seeking your advice here first before I settle on anything. I don't feel out of control, but my worrying does make me feel kind of mental. These thoughts like I said only creep in when im alone and I allow them to. Where as if im out with my friends or out and about/busy they don't seem so important and I just push them right out of the way and forget about them completely. Like I said, I feel fine when im with people. Am I just making myself feel down, and letting the negative thoughts in or am I mental? Like I said I don't feel mental, and in my opinion I just think its my low self esteem and confidence that are causing this, because im quite certain that if I learned to accept myself and love myself i'd be pretty fine.
But im worrying because im okay now, next time I let the negative thoughts in, i'll be down again and won't let myself be happy. Can I do something to keep myself occupied and to keep these thoughts at bay and not let them win? Medetation? Writing down all my good points?
Is this just a lack of self esteem and a worrying too much, or would you say im bi polar? IS this just where i am growing up, you know mood swings? Or is it more?
Can you give me some advice please.
I noticed in your post that you don't know whether you are Bipolar of not. In other words you have not been officially diagnosed a such.
It is often misdiagnosed for mood swings.
The symptoms you are mentioning all fit in with that of Hypoglycemia (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/what-is-hypoglycemia/
which can be treated by going on a Hypoglycemic Diet (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/the-hypoglycemic-diet/
In hypoglycemia we tend to over-produce stress hormones, which are then mistaken for "mental symptoms", including a low self-esteem.
Thus by going on a hypoglycemic diet, you will find that after a while you will start to feel much better about yourself.
Beating Anxiety and Phobias
Depression is a Nutritional Disorder
Treatment of a Low Self Esteem
Please discuss with your parents, doctor or counselor.
I hope i have been of some help.
Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist.
Hon. Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search