Expert: Ivan Goldberg, M.D. - 11/8/2006

Question
My boyfried and I both have bi-polar.  We met in a support group about 2years ago.  We both work full time and take our medications.  We are in our 40's and no plans for children. My doctor thinks that I am very highly functionalble and sees nothing wrong with it.  His doctor says its a bad idea to be with another person with bi-polar.  Isn't like saying that you shouldn't share your life with someone who has cancer or thyroid problem.  If we love each other and we are both doing very well what is the answer.  What if this is a once in a life time love.

Answer
Hi, Joyce . . .

I this life love is rare and should not be easily thrown away.

Couples in which both members have bipolar disorder often have dramatic ups  and downs in their relationship. If they expect this, and especially if they both understand  that these fluctuations are temporary, such relationships can work out well. The impulsivity and anger that accompany bipolarity are the biggest threats to the marriage.  Having an ongoing relationship with a marital therapist, who has a good deal of experience working with people with bipolar disorder can help a lot. Seeing such a marital therapist during difficult times can be very helpful.

Best regards . . .

Ivan
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