Expert: Libby Bonner - 11/28/2005

Question
This is just to thank you for your reply and follow up to my question about my BiPolar Son. I have contacted AllExperts in the past about other subjects, but I have never felt a real sympathy and understanding as I did with your responses. Although my husband was not John's father, he was my rock & support in trying to help John. Since his death, I'm dealing with this alone while I try to deal with the overwhelming grief I'm living with.  Thank you for giving me a place to start and for reminding me that rational arguments don't work. I've tried them for years & you are so right - they don't work - but that hasn't stopped me from trying to reach him.  

Answer
I'm so glad I could help.

But we have all realized, and forgotten again, and realized again, that w/ mental illness, behavior/thoughts ARE the symptoms.  How very inconvenient for families! So, so much easier to know and understand where one is w/ physical illness: fever, rash, pain.....  It's just awfully tough.

Get the Woolis book and USE THE SUMMARY sections to guide your conversations w/ your son.  I literally had it in hand, turned to the relevant page, when I would call my daughter.   And we started getting successfully through crises AND w/o anger or misunderstanding.  [AND - I started going to NAMI.  Hope there is a good support group near you.]

Good luck.