Expert: Libby Bonner - 10/13/2006

Question
Hello Libby, I am 34 years old and have been diagnosed bipolar since my junior year in college.  I was on depakote for about 10 years or so until it stopped working and am now on lithium and lamictal which is working fine. I'm not your classic textbook case because I have never been hospitalized or been in a crisis center, however I have had trouble keeping jobs, had a DWI, etc.  For the most part I am stable,I work, I travel with friends and am enjoying my 30's.  Recently I met and fell in love with a man who is bipolar. At first, our relationship was quite normal but his depression turned out to be misdiagnosed and it was really bipolar. I'll fast forward here and say that he became completely out of control and within a month, got kicked out of the house he was living in, lost his job that he's had for 8 years, and then we broke up. I actually had him living with me b/c he had nowhere to go but his lies got too out of control and so was he. I still love him and read a ton of articles where marriages/relationships still work if the bipolar person stays on their medication. This is not a problem w/ me, I've never gone off my medicaton. Ok, here's my question: should I try and stay with this person knowing that I am bipolar as well. (he knows i am)  

Answer
You could tell him to call you after he is stable on meds for bipolar, and has been stable for at least 2 months, and intends to stay on meds forever.

If you are considering a family.....consult an expert.

Good luck.   I would NOT be w/ this guy until all the conditions are fulfilled and he has met your doc and you have met his....by going at least oncet to each others' appts.