Expert: Libby Bonner - 6/6/2007

Question
History
Husband 36, Married 11 years, we have one child a boy 5 almost 6. Was a heavy drug user pot, crack and alcohol done on and off during our marriage for first 5 or 6 years. He got clean..then his behavior changed after our son was born and his father died. Started redoing drugs,Pot first ,2 years ago without my knowledge, which lead to a crack binge in Feb of this year(apparently when he stop taking his meds soon after his diagnoses) Diagnosed Bipolar II DEC 2006, had a suicidal gesture in July 2006 which he was hospitalized for 3 days in the behavior health ward.

There is a lot more bad behaviors inbetween the death of his father and his diagnoses..Quitting jobs, trying to start up businesses, buying a business without my consent (and getting us in debt from it and being sued), going on sex sites placing personal ads for sexual partners(unknown if he actually ever went thru with the ads), forging my name on loan documents, stealing my mac card and using it for Internet get rich quick schemes purchases and tapping mac for money..it goes on and on...

Medicines he is currently on Lamictal 100mg, Seroquel 100mg, Sertraline 100mg and Rozerem 8mg to help him sleep.

I can not get him to stay with a doctor. The last one wanted to stick him on Lithium and he didn't want to do that. So now his meds run out in a day and of course I'm panicked cause I'm afraid he will go off if he cant get these scripts filled..in fact I know he will go off.

He also doesn't seem right, he is acting belligerent at times, thinks any question I ask him is me trying to control him. Had a few recent weird acts got 140 in cash and disappeared for 8 hours says he went to the casinos. I drug tested him he came up clean. Then took my mac took out 40 bucks and did that Internet purchase a few days ago.
So its obvious he needs a med readjust or something.

I just don't know how to get this stuff done without him threatening divorce or walking out and disappearing. I'm at my wits end with him.

Is there anything I can say or do to defuse the behavior and attitude? and is there a way I can get these script filled quick or is going to the emergency room my only option..since every doctor office I call wont see him until AUGUST!! I just dont know what to do anymore.

Answer
Rose, I am so sorry I haven't answered sooner.  You need help from wherever you are - are you in or near a city, I hope?

He just plain doesn't have a doctor right now to prescribe for him?  I don't understand exactly about his meds - it sounds like you get them a day at a time?  That can't be right...  Write again and clarify.

The last doctor.  Would anything make that doctor see him again, or prescibe for him again?  Or does your husband refuse to see him?  Even tho he may need lithium, I'd like to think that the last doc would keep prescribing until something else comes along, whether or not he agrees to the lithium.

Here are some ways to get help, tho not meds.  Please please buy the book by Woolis called When someone you love has a mental illness, and buy or borrow a book by Amador called I am not sick, I don't need help.  Only get the Amador book published in 2007.  Woolis will help with defusing, and Amador will give you strategies about getting him into treatment......altho you imply that he would go to a doctor if only there were a doctor to see him???

Please try also to get in touch w/ a NAMI group, state or local:  www.nami.org   Talking to others about how they have handled this can help. This is a group you will want to stay with forever.

If you are in a city, you might also see if you have a Mental Health Association office there, and contact them for answers.

The Amador book may have something to say about this, not sure -- but depending on where you live, you may want to talk soon w/ police or the sheriff's office, just to let them know that he may come to their attention and that, if at all possible, depending on what has happened, he should go to an emergency room and not to a lock-up.

Write again soon and give me more info and let me know what's happening.