Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 9/11/2006

Question
My 21 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 5 and spent most of the time in between on Ritalin.  She was diagnosed 2 years ago with bipolar disorder and as I look back I can see that her symptoms were related more to that than ADHD. She has never been on any medication for bipolar but sometimes takes Concerta. At 21, she is in her 4th college and living with a boyfriend.  She has periods where she flies off the handle when they have an argument, calling us at all hours.  How can I help her to understand and seek treatment for her problems and be consistent with medication?  My husband has always been against meds and feels she should be able to overcome her issues by herself without a crutch.  Because she technically is an adult and doesn't live at home, I feel my hands are tied.  Yet, if she doesn't get this under control, I don't know where we'll be or what kind of life she will have down the road.  I'm not sure the boyfriend is much help and he seems to be somewhat bipolar also.

Answer
Eileen:

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do to force your daughter to seek help.  As an adult, that decision has to be hers.  What you can do is gather information on bipolar disorder.  With this done, find a time when you can talk to your daughter reasonably, ask her to read the information and see what she thinks.  Let her know you are concerned about her and only trying to help--then back off and give her time to think about things.  

It is hard seeing someone needs help--and often it is those around the person suffering who notice a problem first--and being unable to do anything.  My advice is to see she has the information, let her know you are there to help should she need it, then watch and hope she sees the necessity of seeking help.  

                         Joyce A. Anthony