Expert: Libby Bonner - 11/16/2006

Question
I have one other question. I wanted to know if they are allowed to tell us that we cannot live together even if we are married with bipolar?
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The text above is a follow-up to ...

-----Question-----
My husband and I have been married for 18 months. We have been together for almost 3 years. We have three children and they are now in foster care, due to this problem. I have had manic depression since the age of 15 years. I have been hospitalized several times, and I don't know much about this disorder. I used to have several "fits of rage" in the presence of our oldest daughter, Natasha. She has a lot of sensory issues and delays due to the expriences, in my opinion. She is now two years old, her brother is 1 years, and her baby brother is now 2 months old.
My children have been in foster care a year now, and we want to know (my husband and I) if you could give us some advice. Dept of social services considers us domestically violent due to the fact that my husband as well as I has been recently diagnosed Bipolar with Explosive episodes. I really want to bring our children home and be a family again, but how can we prove that our problem is our mental illnesses and not domestic violence?
Thank-you
Carrie
-----Answer-----
You need another expert, and you also need local advice to guide you.

I doubt SS cares why the violence occurred.  They want the children in a stable home.  IF you and your husband BOTH can be successfully treated for your mental illnesses, such that you can prove a considerable period of reliable stability, then perhaps you would have some chance of regaining your children.

I read nothing about your getting treatment.  That would be step one, perhaps along w/ parenting classes, completing your eduation, and keeping your family size as it it now:  no more children until after your three have been returned.

Start with Planned Parenthood and with a community mental health center.

Answer
I wouldn't think so, but have no idea, really.

Does either of you have a social worker who can help w/ this?  

Is there a Legal Services Office where you live - but it might not be called exactly that.  They do legal services for people who can't afford attys.  If they are not in the phone book  as above, call United Way and ask how to contact free legal help.  Or call the office of any atty to ask if there is an low/no-cost service where you live and how to contact it.