Expert: Ivan Goldberg, M.D. - 7/16/2007

Question
First off, I’m a daydreamer. At 18, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. However, I never experienced being manic I was constantly depressed.  For two years I was at rock bottom. No friends, unemployed, in and out of psychiatric hospitals, and attempted suicide. My mother thought she was going to lose me.

Now, at 22, I'm back in college, working, and have relocated. People look at me and can't even tell what I’ve been through. I've lost all the weight I've gained and many men are attracted to me. I've stopped taking all the medication I was prescribed. Two things that didn't change are I have no friends, so I'm seen as a loner, but I'm O.K. with that. The other is that I still daydream but my dreams are not so dark and violent.

About a week ago, someone keyed my car. It really pissed me off. (I believe it was some kids in the neighborhood because my mom’s boyfriend’s car was keyed last night). I started crying and daydreaming violent stuff as I did at 18. Every time I think about it I just want to take someone's head off. Not because they keyed my car but because I don't do anything to anybody and they choose to target me. I'm scared that if I find out who done it, I might lose it.

I've tried to convince myself that I don't have bipolar disorder and that I don't need medication. The way I'm feeling is this normal or is it some characteristic of BP? If so, is it good for me to go back on medication or perhaps see a therapist?


Answer
Hi Sharita . . .

There is no way that I can make a diagnosis over the internet. It certainly is possible that you have a mood disorder of some sort, and that your depressed and angry moods are manifestations of it. If your anger seems out of proportion or is it lasts too long, or if you become depressed over the incident you mention, a consultation with a psychiatrist would be a good idea. If you develop suicidal thoughts such a consultation is urgently necessary.

Best regards . . .
Ivan
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