Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 5/15/2007

Question
Good evening Ms Anthony,
My husband (he's 34 yrs old) was addicted to pain medications for three years.  Prior to his use, he was a great person.  He wasn't moody, he was fun to be around, nice, easy going, and very giving.  Once he got addicted to the pain medications, things started changing very quickly.  He finally got off the pain medications in December 2006 (3rd try).  He was given suboxone to help with withdrawal symptoms.  He stopped taking the suboxone in early March 2007 and things have been unbearable since.  He is constantly snapping at me or the kids (8 yrs old and 3 yrs old).  My 8 yr old wants to know why dad doesn't love us anymore because he always comes home from work in a bad mood.  My 3 yrd old tells her dad to stop yelling at her because she's just a little girl.  It absolutely breaks my heart.  I'm not sure what to do about this.  I'm ready to leave.  My husband started seeing a therapist on May 1 2007.  His therapist gave him mini-press and cymbalta and told him that he had Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.  I don't believe the diagnosis.  My husband has been researching BiPolar II and his symptoms and he believes that he has BiPolar II.  He has an appointment with his therapist on Thursday (today is Monday night).  My question is typically what kind of medication do people diagnosed with BiPolar II take?  Currently, my children and I are constantly walking on egg shells whenever we are around him.  I know that this isn't fair for the children, but once he starts medication is there an average time for symptoms to slow down or stabilize the moods?  I'm very desparate and ready to take my children out of this situation.  I know its not healthy for them and I worry about the affects its going to have on them as they get older.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks,
Marianne

Answer
Hi Marianne:

First, I must say it sounds like your husband is truly trying to get back on track and keep the family together.  That is a very positive thing.  He is also taking time to study symptoms and become knowledgeable, another positive thing.

It is very possible he has both disorders--bipolar disorder is often accompanied by others.  Normally, people are given a mood stabilizer such as Seroquel, Depakote or Lithium.  

The mood change after stopping the pain medication sounds like drug withdrawal symptoms.  When a person dulls their senses for so long, often the pain (emotional) is intensified.  I can understand how hard it is to live with for you and the family.

I would suggest that your husband write down all the reasons he believes it is bipolar disorder he has.  It would help if he also could show a family history of such disorder.  Have him take that list with him and discuss it with his doctor.  If the doctor doesn't even try to listen, it's time to get a new one.  Then have him ask for a "trial run" of say three months with a mood stabilizer.

Mood stabilizer can take six weeks to be fully effective.  By trying a drug for three months, it will give a very good indication of whether it will work or not.

In the meantime, why don't you check around and see if there are any support groups for families of mental health patients?  Knowing that others have been there, hearing what they have done to get through it, and just being with people who understand will help you and the kids get through this trying period.

Please feel free to ask any other questions you may have.

                            Joyce A. Anthony