Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 11/29/2006

Question
I have been bipolar since I was 18. I am now 34 and been to 4 different college and have had many (20 something) part-time, full-time and temp jobs. My problem is I have never been able to keep a job for more than 11 months, I usually only last a couple of months. I am feeling desperate sometimes and I really really want things to be more stable.
When I have an episode, I typically have a manic period of 2-4 days followed by crashing into severe depression for 4-10 days.  I am taking meds and I have reduced these episodes to about 2 or 3 a year now.
What is often the problem (but not always) is the severe depression causes me to stay in bed all day and not bother to call in to work (because I just don't care). Because I disappear from work for several days with no notice, I then lose my job. I understand why this is a problem for employers but I don't know what to do. I am now at the point where just looking for jobs feels almost traumatic. I have been getting panic attacks just trying to apply. I really want to be employed full-time as a computer tech (which I am trained to do) but I am only throwing newspapers now. My parents are able to help a little but I don't want to live like this. I am scared of being unemployed and losing yet another job, I am not sure anyone would want to hire me anyway. I live alone (by choice).
I really want to keep a job but I am having a hard enough time looking for a job. I'm scared. What can I do to help myself? I can't live like this forever.
Thanks.  

Answer
Jack:

This problem has a two-part solution.  First, you need to discuss the fact with your psychiatrist that your current medication does not help the depression.  An increase or change of medications seems to be necessary.  The proper dosage and type of medication will keep your mood swings from becoming too high or too low.  Please make this a priority at your next med-check.

Secondly, you need to push yourself through the depression.  Forcing yourself to do what you don't feel like doing in many cases helps lift the depression, at least enough to function.  The next time you feel like you don't care, do it anyway.  Tell yourself you have to do this, make that phone call, goo into work anyway.  You will find, once you do, you'll feel better.  

By allowing the depression to prevent you from doing what needs done, you continue the cycle.  Depression makes you feel like not going to work, go don't go and lose your job, then you feel even more depressed because you lost your job.  The cycle has to be broken somewhere and that is where the forcing yourself comes in.

                              Joyce A. Anthony