Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 3/10/2007

Question
Why do i feel this way? There is no fucking explination, i have felt like it for over half a year now, yet no one has noticed. No one has noticed because i am a worthless fake. I pretend. I pretend to be happy. I pretend that i care. I pretend that i'm how i used to be. But inside it's a different story. And when i'm on my own. I just sit and cry. All the time. My poems are all about my feelings, that's why i don't let anyone i know read them. I can't tell people how i feel. I know deep down i want too. But i just can't. I don't know what to do with myself. I'd rather not be here. At night in bed i think to my self about how it would be if i wasn't here. I'd be dead. That means no more pain. No more lonliness. No more pretend. And best of all, no more life. Do i need help or am i a pathetic teenager?
Becky Reffold
Age: 14

Answer
Becky:

While ups and downs are a normal part of life, feeling this down for so long is not normal.  You need to talk with someone and see what can be done to get help.  There is nothing wrong with asking for help--we all need to from time to time.

In many states, fourteen is old enough to seek help yourself.  I would suggest, however, you talk with your parents or another trusted adult and allow them to go through this with you.

Becky, I know it may not feel like it now, but your life is definitely worth living--you do have a future out there--one free of depression and pain if you get the correct help.  Please seek that help.
                      Joyce A. Anthony