Expert: Ivan Goldberg, M.D. - 12/5/2007

Question
QUESTION: Hi...my name is Jessica and I'm a seventeen year old living in the US. Over the past four years, I've dealt with eating disorders, self mutilation, alcohol, and popping pills. Since the age of seven, I have been sexual, physically, and emotional abused.

In the past ten or few months though, I haven't done anything ... bad. And then I broke down. I cut. I drank. I got high, I stopped eating, all for about two weeks. Then I straitened out again.

I've been okay for about two weeks... but... I'm so frustrated... my moods go in and out and up and down. I wear masks around people but I'm losing myself in the deceit. I'm usually annoyingly happy around people, disgustingly depressed when I'm alone, and the radio doesn't help me anymore.

My whole body hurts, especially my back and head. I thought it might have been early signs of fibromyalgia, which runs on both sides of my family, but now I think wrong.

I can't stand this anymore. I'm losing control. I'm living day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I'm using the stupidest things to keep me in line... like... 'If I come to school with a hangover tomorrow, I won't get a spot in the one act play...' or... 'If I cut again I'll start having nightmares again.' Etc. Etc. Etc.

I'm so sick of being pathetic. I'm so sick of being fake.
But most of all I'm sick of not knowing what the heck is wrong with me. Help Me.

ANSWER: Hi . . .

People who have a history of having been abused in any way are at increased risk to develop mood disorders and to act impulsively regarding self-harm, eating, substance abuse, and sexuality.

People with such histories can bed helped. Usually it takes a combination of psychotherapy and medical treatment. I think you should ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist for a diagnostic evaluation. Only after such a diagnostic evaluation can a treatment plan be put together.

Best regards . . .
Ivan
%%%

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Is there any way to... regain control... without a doctor?

My parents know only about the eating disorder and si.

I'd rather they not find out about the others...

Answer
Jessica, Hi again . . .

Mood disorders are potentially serious as they can affect all aspects of your life. While there are many things that you can do to help yourself, see:
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.hints.html
people with mood disorders also need help in the form of medication and psychotherapy.  I think it is important that you be evaluated for a mood disorder, and if you are found to have one, that you get the help you need.

Best regards . . .
Ivan
%%%%%%%%%%%%