Expert: Libby Bonner - 11/28/2007

Question
hi my names becca my boyfriend is 23 years old.weve been togeher since we were 16.he was diagnosied at 16 with bipolar 1.he refused meds at first.he had his first manic attack at 17.he spent three months in hospital.there started him on lithium witch brought him down.for the next 4 or 5 years he has been on numerous differnt mood stabilzers and anti depressents.he did take them and saw his doc often.but he was always depressed never went as high as to cause major problems.about a year ago he decided that hed giving meds fair shot he try something different.he exercisers often and has  a good diet.he started taking fish oils he read that there can help. i wass a bit worried but agreed.we rarely went out but he started going out more and more.i did not like the crowd he was mixing with.hed started taking weed witch i did not know about at first.his behaviour started to change granted he was a sad person bt he had me.gradualy i ssaw less and less of him.he started geting into fights and one time was badly beaten.i pleaded with him to see his doc he had not seen him for a long time.well a few weeks  ago his behaviour was really out of control but niether me or his family wanted him hospilized so we done nothing.i remeber what it was like last time.then one day he went out and didnt come back we havnt seen him since.he has taken his credit card and some cloths.none of his friends know where he is.he has never done this before.weve been int touch with the police but nothing.we are starting to think that maybe he has done somthing stuiped.sick with worry.

Answer
Not much to say about this: he is off his meds and has become manic again, apparently.

I am not sure where you live, but no US hospital would keep a mentally ill - or practically any - patient for 3 months, in 2007.  Persons are hospitalized here if suicidal or manic or psychotic, long enough to get them stablilized; some then go on to 'residential care' until it's clear that they will be OK on their own.  --  In case the issue of hospitalization comes up again soon, you should check to see why/whether a hospital would admit him, etc.  Perhaps it would change your thoughts on hospital treatment.

How long has he been gone?  Weeks??  Can you get the police to be more aggressive about this?  They might be able to track his credit card use...though the card/s are long maxed out by now - people who are manic spend lots of money, and besides he now has living expenses.

If the police remain uninterested, I wonder if you could get the local paper interested enough to do a short piece on his disappearance?

I really have no other ideas - except hiring a private 'detective' ...  It's easier than ever, w/ the Internet, to do a lot of checking fairly quickly and so, I would hope, inexpensively.

I'm so sorry this has taken such a bad turn.  Please stay in touch with me.