Expert: Libby Bonner - 9/29/2007

Question
hello my name is samar and I have a boyfriend who is diagnose with bipolar disorder last year we have been on and off for seven years now the least issue is making him really down and angry how can I help him understand that sometimes people fight and there is no need on blowing things out of proportion

Answer
"...the least issue is making him really down and angry how can I help him understand that sometimes people fight and there is no need on blowing things out of proportion..."

You are describing bipolar behavior.  He is unable to be helped, w/ words, to understand rational positions that you might present to him.   --  Also, when a person is bipolar and showing symptoms, "people" [you] should do all that you can to NOT have fights.  You are not two normal people, engaging in normal disagreements.

Is he taking medicines, and do you know the names and doses?

If you are able to get a copy of a book by Woolis called When someone you love has a mental illness -- it will help you greatly to have a more agreeable relationship w/ him.  

It's also very very important that you understand what bipolar illness is about.  Try www.mentalhealth.com or www.nami.org    Just a short definition of all mental illnesses:  serious and persistant disorders of thoughts, moods, and behavior, characterized by periods of getting better or of getting worse, even while on medicine.  -- A doctor should be on the alert for changes in him, so that medicines and doses can be changed when needed.

Thank you for writing.