Expert: Ivan Goldberg, M.D. - 7/24/2007

Question
Hi,I have a bipolar sister,54 yr old,I have been dealing with this since since was in college.She is having problems
with her female partner,was hospitalized a few weeks ago but is still quite manic. 2 years ago I saw a therapist for
several months since dealing with her & an elderly parent
was making me very anxious. Frankly I find I cannot speak/see her for more than a short time without feeling
very anxious myself so I try to limit my dealing with her.
This weekend she left a nasty sounding note on my phone
complaining that I haven't called her. She is on medication.
I feel that I try to be supportive but I don't want to hear about her relationship problems & cannot deal with her
anger/intensity when she is like this. I would appreciate
any suggestions. thanks.  

Answer
Hi . . .

The generic advice I give my patients and their relatives is to set whatever limits are necessary to protect themselves. Making it clear that one will only talk once a day for not more than however many minutes one can handle, and not being afraid to say something like "I'm hanging up now because your shouting is intolerable" can be very important things to do.

Best regards . . .
Ivan
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%