Expert: Libby Bonner - 6/15/2007

Question
I am 47 years old and was initially diagnosed with depressive and anxiety disorder at age 39, then diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 41.  I take my medication faithfully, don't drink or use drugs, and employed full time as a child welfare social worker, and am not married, nor have I ever been married.  I have one adult son (who lives 2000 miles away) and my elderly parents as my support system.

I have A LOT of trouble keeping my budget in order.  I utilize online banking and usually do pretty well keeping up with my bills and keeping track of my checking account.  I have a lot of anxiety surrounding spending money on anything other than necessities, although I do occasionally shop for clothes or candles or something simple like that.  I don't go to malls and I don't really get into online purchasing (I downloaded music once at a cost of $12.00, and found the experience so frustrating that I wouldn't do it again--frustrating because I had difficulty understanding what I was trying to do).  

My problem seems to me to be a perceptual/comprehension problem.  For example, today: I logged into my account online to see how much money I had left until the end of the month, and was shocked to see that I was overdrawn by $180!  By my calculations, which are admittedly limited to frequent checking of my account via internet and in my head, I should have had a little over $100 in my account.  I've tried keeping track of my transactions using a checkbook register, but gave up on this many years ago as it didn't make sense to me and I found it an extreme exercise in frustration.  I've asked my mother, who is EXCELLENT at budgeting and keeping track of a checking account, to take over my bank account for me, but she's declined stating it would probably cause problems between us and make her feel uncomfortable.  

But at least a couple of times a year, I end up being vastly overdrawn and I can't ever comprehend or understand how I ended up that way.  My parents have lent me money in the past, money I've paid back most of the time but not always.  But what will I do when they're no longer around to bail me out when I make a mistake?  I wish someone would just take over complete control of my bank account, pay all of my bills, and give me whatever is left over as spending, grocery, and gas money for the rest of the month.

I don't live an extravagant lifestyle and I don't go on spending binges like I once did.  Believe me, I feel fortunate to have gotten that particular problem under control.  I don't go out much, don't buy clothes or jewelry or CDs or other unnecessary items, don't eat out except for the occasional combo meal at a fast food restaurant, don't travel, don't go to movies...I would say that I have two unnecessary expenses and that's my cable TV ($50/mo) and Internet at home ($40/mo).  Those are what I consider my social and "fun" expenses.

I don't think that my living expenses outdistance my income; I just have trouble with the actual understanding and comprehension of my finances.

Is there any research about this?  Is this a common problem?  Any suggestions?

Answer
Doubt there is research, but I suspect it's a common problem.   

I agree that it's likely a perceptual/comprehension problem caused by the disorder itself and/or to meds and their side effects.   I think a degree of "spaciness" is common in bipolar disorder.  Maybe your problems arise in part from not realizing that you are, or have recently been in, a somewhat space-y moment, during which some money got spent or some bill went unpaid.

It seems to me that you have a solvable problem:   you simply need someone to do exactly what you describe - handle your bills and monies and dole out some discretionary money to you.

I think a bank, or a bookkeeper, or an accountant would do this, probably affordably.  You would just need to be asssured that the person or institution was, and continued to be, bonded and insured.

I imagine a bookkeeper would be least expensive and, if you are in a metro area, you might want to have this service done by someone in a rural area where charges would likely be less.   --- Maybe your nice parents could help you scout around for a suitable person?

Problem solved!  [I hope.]  It's wonderful that you are doing so well.  Write again and let me know what finally worked for you w/ this $$ problem.