Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 12/1/2006

Question
Hi, My bf is is 35, and a year or two ago, i remember him saying something about a Dr. telling him about bipolar,  and my question is,  that i don't know much about the symptoms of it, or anything but he has been driving me nuts!, i love him and all,  well first of all let me say he has like 18 months clean time, off drugs and alcohol, which is great and has been attending 12 step meetings a few times a week, and has a sponsor, which is great,  BUT...
I just don't get him, most the time,  one minute hes like going none stop i mean really has his mind on doing something, or going somewhere, and then its like he gets very tired and esp after eating way too much, and mostly stuff thats not that good for him,  junk food and all, and then he's down, for hours and has to sleep, its even causing him to gain wieght, ever sense hes been clean, and causing him to feel bad about himself and his self esteem.
I try to get him to eat better, and for us to take walks together to help both of us to feel better and lose weight, but sometimes he feels frustrated and says horrible things like  ..well if i die because of what i eat, or whatever,  then at least i died sober and clean.  or hell say maybe if i bought a gun and blew my head off everyone would be better off.   Dr. i know he doesn't really mean this, because a few min. later he'll be talking to a friend or watching a movie on TV and totally forget what he said!  ITs weird! and scarry for me!
And he gets very stressed out allot, i mean very!  esp.while driving and when someone makes him mad he will scare me to death!  i mean drive sometimes very dangerously to show them a lessen.    He is raising his 11 yr old son by himself, well i help when i can,  we used to live together but anymore.
please help!   I love him still, and also he said the med. the Dr. put him on for bipolar in the past caused him to feel weird,  and afraid it will make him relapse.  because it makes him feel high or something.
I just need some answers to if his actions might be because of his bipolar?  and if so are there med out there that Dr. can prescribe that will not cause him to relapse, and non narcotic
he doesn't seem to want to get help
:(


Answer
Hi Bren:

A lot of the behavior you describe is typical for a person recovering from addiction.  It appears your bf is doing well with avoiding the alcohol.  Many substitute food for an addiction.  My first advice is, he's a grown man, allow him to eat what he wants.  

Most mood stabilizers are non-narcotic and will not cause him to relapse.  He might discuss a combination of Lamictal and Seroquel with his doctor as neither should give him that drugged-out feeling.  

You need to keep in mind, however, that he is an adult.  You can make suggestions, but it is up to him to follow through.
                     Joyce A. Anthony