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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Alternative Relationship Styles > Bisexuality > Best friend
Expert: Guy Curious - 10/20/2009
Question
QUESTION: Okay, I read that a lot of people would normally fall for their bestfriend if they're gay or bisexual. That happened to me.
It started around early of last year, I got close to him and he's really sweet and caring to me (which is not a guy normally would). Its weird cause there was once, when I was sad he held my hands and we walked hand in hand. I felt happy cause at that point of time I think I was falling for him (I'm bi-curious)
Im very open to new experiences and once I confronted him asking what would happen if we were together (and confessed that I was bi)? He went being in denial and said that is impossible. I reckon he was really scared of trying new stuff.
We still remained close and somehow he agreed on experimenting. We went from sleeping hands in hands and hugged to sleep. I was aroused by that. Then always, after we tried he backed off saying that 'he didnt feel anything'. I still think he's scared cause we're living in a judgemental society.
He still remained close & sweet as ever. He treats me special, not kidding. He doesnt treat others like me.
Then one day, we had alcohol and drank a lil. We didnt really get drunk or tipsy, we only had a few shots. We opened about experimenting again and somehow we ended up making out. We made out for almost 15 minutes, and i can see he was into it. Seemed that he was more into it than me.
When I dropped him off he kissed me again but I backed off cause its in front of his house. Haha, Im being safe.
Then, the next 2 days, same things happen. He thinks that he didnt 'get aroused'. but i did. Im really confused of what I should do now.
We still are bestfriends now.
Help!
ANSWER: There's not much you can do. If he's uncomfortable with the situation that's his decision. He may just need time to work thru what's happened between the two of you.
It's good that the two of you are still friends. If you value his friendship give him time to figure out what he wants but be prepared if he says he doesn't want to go any further.
I can understand your frustrations. Give him time and see what happens. If you try to pressure him you'll only push him away.
I wish you the best and please write back and let me know how you're doing.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Is it normal for a guy to agree on being in an 'open relationship' like we're commited to each other but can still flirt around and all? Its weird cause we agreed on that few times before. And we did become a couple, but just for a while.
And at times he would peck my cheek. and calls me 'baby' and all. wow, Its really confusing...
What do you think it means then?
Answer
I'm confused about your first sentence. I would think an open relationship means there's no commitment to each other, both can see other people.
If he is sending you mixed signals then sit down with him and explain your confusion. Ask him exactly what he is looking for. Explain your feelings for him and see what his are towards you.
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