Question My best friend and I, both never with women before, played with a mild non-physical flirtation for about a year before things intensified into a physical experience. Intoxicated (clearly not a great idea, the drinking not the activity) we started fooling around but when she went to pleasure me I stopped her. Freaked out by the experience I backed off and pushed her away over the next month. Luckily she was too good of a friend to allow that to happen. A few months later and sober we ended up having a very intense sexual experience. I moved away not to long after that and we've continued a fairly intense flirtation and a few candid conversations about our developing feelings.
We've had a few weekends away together but nothing more than flirting happened. I can't seem to get the courage up to make a move. I think I put her off of making a move on me due to our first time and me yelling no at her. But I get so nervous that I can't move. It certainly isn't lack of attraction and our mutual chemistry is extremely intense. But now I get the feeling that I am making her feel like I don't want her and that is certainly not the case. She's "joked" lightly that I had her all to myself and did nothing with her. But I think her feelings are hurt. Please help! How do I move past the initial nerves to the good stuff? Because once we're touching my nerves vanish... she's very good at making me comfortable. Ok sorry for the long description... but hey we're women we're complicated! Help?
Answer Ah, alcohol, the magical tool that lowers one's inhibitions and allows us to experience that which we cannot while sober.
I'm not sure what I can tell you that will help you get past this mental roadblock. You know in your heart that you desire the intimacy with her but sometimes that first step seems impossible. I think your friend is concerned that if she tries to make another move this will push the two of you apart again so I'm afraid the ball is in your court. It's up to you to push past the fear and have that which you desire.
Carpe Diem. Life is too short to sit back and wonder, "What if ?" If you wait too long your friend may decide to move on and find someone else. Not trying to be cruel but you can only expect someone to wait so long.
I wish you well and please write back and let me know how the two of you are doing.
