You are here:

Bisexuality/I've found out my boyfriend has been bicurious!

Advertisement


BeenThereDoneThat wrote at 2010-11-16 21:29:28
First of all, you have to do what is right for YOU. Unlike what the previous poster said, you do NOT have to be a 'supportive' partner if you are NOT comfortable with him having been bi-curious or bi-sexual in the past. If you are not comfortable with it to the point that it dominates your thoughts and you are not able to see anything else when you look at him, there is NOTHING wrong with that. You have to listen to your heart and mind and do what is best for you.



I had the exact thing happen with the guy I was dating (and funnily enough, we were the same ages, 30 and 27, and it happened maybe a month before we officially dated...) and for a while I thought I could be okay with it. But then I realized, many months afterwards, that it still dominated my mind and made me question whether or not he would ever act on those feelings again.



Again, the main thing to remember here is that you must be true to YOUR heart and what YOU are comfortable with-- NOT being a supportive partner. If you lie to yourself and think you can handle it when you really can't, you will only make the situation worse and prolong the heartbreak later. Being with someone who has/is bisexual or bicurious is not for everyone. He doesn't need your support or sympathy-- he needs someone who feels the same and loves him. And if you can't do both, don't feel bad about it-- it just wasn't meant to be.



Good luck!!


Heart broken wrote at 2012-07-16 14:51:12
I'm dealing with the same exact thing right now. I'm very hurt by this because I cater to my man completely. It really makes me feel like I'm not enough for him. Made me very insecure about myself to find out he was seeking attention from another man. After I left him after finding out...He cried like I've never heard him cry before in my life. Something about this happening made him realize what I do mean to him and that he doesn't want to lose me. I tried talking to him about it asking if it's just curiosity or has he been with a man before. He gets so upset. Especially when I say there's straight men, bi-curious, and bi-sexual...what do you classify yourself as? To me...no straight man would carry on a sexual conversation with another man for "shits and giggles". Not like that. I want to be supportive and want to make things work with him but I can't if he can't even be true to himself.  


whyme wrote at 2013-06-30 01:44:05
im you right now. just found out the same thing about my boyfriend of 7 months. im so confused !


Bisexuality

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Guy Curious

Expertise

Questions relating to male bisexuality and male bisexual curiousity. Male bisexuality and marriage.

Experience

Married male who is bisexual.

Education/Credentials
High school education, life experiences with bisexuality

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.