Expert: Guy Curious - 11/2/2010

Question
i knew my partner was bi before we hooked up. he had just got out of a longterm hetro relationship when we got together and from day one he said that he was going traveling to be single and experience his bi sexuality. at this point we were not in a relationship and i supported his decision to go away. now we have been together for 6 months and are together as boyfriend and girlfriend. this may not have been the best idea but we fell in love. we talk about getting married and having children and i honestly see myself speanding my life with him. up untill now we were going to split while he went away for a few months. we hoped when he returned we could work things out. now, he doesn't want to leave me and break up but he still desires to experience a bi sexual encounter since he hasn't had the opportunity in the past. he feels he needs to identify with these thoughts and feeling but is really scared of loosing me and putting stress on our relationship.we are trying to come up with options. he believes a threesome could work (depending on me agreeing, he would never push me into anything). this way we could share his experience. i don't know how i feel about this. i don't think seeing the man i love with another guy would turn me on and i know it would be confronting. i want to help him and i want this to work. I'm just afraid that if i go through with it, it will damage our relationship and i might feel differently towards him or us afterwards. please offer any advice on the threesome or any other alternative that we could conceder. where quite lost at the moment

Answer
Tough spot to be in.  Let me ask you this, would you rather spend the rest of your relationship wondering if he was truly happy or that he was regretful that he didn't explore his sexuality ?

I repressed my bisexual curiousities until my mid 30's.  By this time I was married with children.  I agonized for a very long time between just trying to keep the feelings repressed and telling my wife.  I didn't know how she would take it.  Would she support me or would she walk away ?  I had read many stories in which the wife could not support her husband and left.  I couldn't live with the guilt and repressed feelings any longer so I told my wife and I've been in a better place ever since.  

I recommend that he spends some time exploring his bisexual side.  I know this is a scary proposition for you but for the sake of your relationship this needs to be done.  Only after he experiences that which he desires will he be able to fully commit to a relationship with you.  If you are unable to be with him during this time that's understandable but it would help him greatly if you were there to support him.  It's a rough and scary time for guys when they're trying to figure out who they are.

I hope this helps and please write back and let me know how you're doing.