Expert: Mrs. Discreet - 8/10/2010

Question
I've never considered myself bisexual until my late teen years. It all started when i fell in love with my best friend (I'll call her K). We were around each other constantly.And even though she had this bf we would sleep in the same bed most nights and there was always this strong sexual tension between us. one day something bad happen and she got mad at me. for a good reason too but thats not the point. it devastated me and i still think about her some nights. Anyway its been 2.5 years and i just got done with a on-off relationship with a guy for a about a year. I'm wanting to find a woman to be with but i'm scared and uncertain about how it all should go. Because K was in a "relationship" with a guy K and i never went farther than kissing and being a little touchy.  I'm nervous i won't be attactive enough and i'm scared i won't think anyone else will be more special than K....how can i get over my fears of not being able to get past my past and fears of me being somewhat new to being in a sexual relationship with a woman?

Answer
Allison,

What you are feeling is quite normal. Any new adventure can sometimes make you nervous and unsure of yourself, but you can't let that stop you from something that you want to do.
This new road will open up your eyes and sexuality. You may find that "K" was a special circumstance and that you had those feelings for only her and that's okay.
However, you may find that you are truly bisexual and do not look at gender when searching out a love interest.

My advice is to be completely honest with whomever you find yourself attracted to. If you do find a woman who makes your heart flutter, then be honest with her about your past and your feelings towards being bisexual.
Most bisexual or even lesbian women have been there at one point in time, and will understand what you are going through.
If you aren't yet comfortable talking with women in person, then try talking with women online to feel it out first.

I wish you the best of luck on your sexual journey, and most importantly.. HAVE FUN!!!