Expert: Guy Curious - 1/3/2011

Question
I have reason to believe my boyfriend is bisexual. I have many gay friends and am bisexual myself. Recently i heard some messages on his voicemail that makes me believe this. I love him and truly don't care if he is bi but at the same time i really want to know if he is. Not to define us but so that i can let him know that i'm ok with it and that he can trust me with it. I really want to know how i should approach it without him becoming defensive. I do know he will want to stay in the closet with it.. that's the whole reason i'm here instead of asking a friend. What should i do?

Answer
Ok, how about starting some conversations with him regarding bisexuality ?  Since you're bi it shouldn't raise a red flag with him.  Ask him how he feels about bisexual people in general, not male or female and see what his response is.  Tell him you think bisexual people are just as normal as 'straight' people.  Try to make it a passive conversation.  This type of conversation could move him down the path of coming out to you.  

How about renting some adult movies featuring bisexual guys and girls ?  See what his reaction is.  

Coming out as a bisexual male is very hard for most guys.  Society seems to view bi males as weak, not real men.  Hopefully in the next 30 years male bisexuality becomes as commonplace as female bisexuality is.  Be supportive and ready to listen and hopefully he can find the strength to confide in you.

I hope this helps and please write back and let me know how you're doing.