Expert: Guy Curious - 11/26/2011

Question
My husband is bisexual.  Long story short, I found out he was meeting with other men secretly about 6 years into our marriage.  We have two young children.  We have tried several solutions to try to save our marriage, as we both feel that we are soul mates and can't imagine splitting up.  He has been honest with me about the fact that this is something he has tried to manage in his life,  but he has recently come to the conclusion definitively that he will never feel fully satisfied unless he has a man in his life in addition to having his wife/family.   So we are at a crossroads.  
I have tried to be open about this, understanding, but instead I feel jealousy, insecurity, anger, etc.  I believe in his love and commitment to me, but how do I come to terms with an open relationship if it feels so unnatural to me?  And how do I know that his priorities won't shift down the road?  I understand I can never fulfill him sexually like a man does. But it doesn't help me cope with the idea of sharing my husband.  He says maybe if I'm the one to find someone for him it will help.  Any suggestions or insight would be greatly appreciated, as none of my friends would remotely understand my situation.  Thank you in advance.

Answer
Rough situation you're in there.  Finding out about your husband's bisexuality in this way will easily destroy the trust you've built and rebuilding that trust is never easy.  

The ball is in your court.  You need to decide which path your marriage takes.  If you cannot accept an open marriage then it's time to go your separate ways and find a husband that will be satisfied with a monogamous relationship.  I know the thought of ending a marriage is difficult but like you said, you're at a crossroads.  Your husband has made his decision, he wants to have you and a guy to satisfy his bisexual desires.  Now you need to make yours.

There's no way to know if his priorities will change down the road.  People change as they grow older, priorities and desires sometimes change too.  Relationships need to be somewhat dynamic.  

I was married with two young children at home when I decided to tell my wife about my bisexuality.  I had no idea how she would take it but I was one of the lucky ones.  My wife was very accepting of who I am and still is.  

I'm not sure if I've been any help but if you want to chat on Yahoo my screen name is Guy_curious2.