Expert: Guy Curious - 4/7/2011

Question
You probably won't answer before I'd really like to read your reply but that's on me. Last minute idea.

I'm a guy attracted to women who dates women (currently single), who is lusty sexually towards them. However, about five years ago, watching a lot of porn, I wanted to see a hard cock without worrying about the response so I met a guy and shared mutual masturbation and oral. Since then, I've met 5 guys in five years for less than 8 encounters, mainly enjoying the sight of the naked male body and yes, giving oral. I like it a lot, I just don't do it a lot. It leaves me confused as to how to lead my life.

I kept myself out of committed heterosexual relationships (due to past pain) yet still had sex with women occasionally and I am now ready to date if I can find a mutual attraction with a woman.

Because of stress, loneliness and the lack of emotional involvement needed to be sexual with a man, I can't stop thinking about it. I don't want to think about it or do it but I do, often feeling emotionally bad about it after wards, unlike how I feel after being sexual with a woman. I am now craving intercourse real bad, receiving it (ironically from watching porn where men have anal sex with women: I don't watch gay porn surprisingly, my lust for male sex comes from hetero porn), maybe out of extreme curiosity, maybe out of lust.

I just am clueless to if I should pursue it or this is a distraction, a craving out of the ideal I want - male/female relationship and sex. I connect with women easily emotionally but physically, while I dress stylishly and am very fit, I seem to attract but 10 percent or less of the female population. And it's not always mutual attraction on either side.

I do know if I found the right woman to have a relationship with, I would hardly have these desires. I do turn down heterosexual sex from time to time because I know it comes with a price tag (emotional connection with women or pain caused to them if I don't desire a relationship with that particular person).

What do you think?

Thanks so much.

Answer
My motto is that life is too short to sit back and wonder, "What if ?"  If you are curious about sex with another man then try it.  Afterwards, you can decide if that is something you like and want to experience again or you don't.  Maybe then you'll be better equipped to make a decision regarding your sexuality.  

There's nothing wrong with being bisexual.  The problem becomes finding a female who is comfortable with a bisexual guy.  Some hold the opinion that bisexual guys are incapable of being faithful.  But this argument can be made for hetero guys also.  

Give it a try.  Afterwards you won't have to wonder, "What if....."

I hope this helps and please write back and let me know how you're doing.