Expert: Guy Curious - 5/23/2011

Question
Hello, I am currently 20, and have been in a relationship with a man I am in love with for over a year now. He's into theater and stuff so myself, and many others, just considered him to be artsy. Recently my boyfriend's best friend has come to me and explained that my boyfriend confessed his bisexuality to him. My boyfriend hasn't told me yet, and I don't think it would be right of me to bring it up. Should I just wait until he comes to me? I want to support and comfort him, but I am not sure how. I am okay with his bisexuality as long as he is honest and faithful to whomever he chooses to be in a relationship with. I've been struggling lately like it's my fault that my boyfriend isn't happy. I want to give him everything he deserves, but I don't feel like I can do so when he isn't completely open with me. We go to different colleges and I can't help but think that I am wasting his time when he could be experimenting with many others at his school to find what makes him truly happy. What to do...what to do...?

Answer
Why would his 'best friend' out his friend's bisexuality to you ?  Why would he violate his 'best friend's' trust like that ?  That's not what friends are for.

Now, onto your boyfriend's alleged bisexuality.  I would not confront him or ask him about this.  If/when he is ready and willing to talk about it he will.  If/when he finds out his 'best friend' has already let the cat out of the bag there will be reprecussions.  Let your boyfriend approach you when he is ready.

You said you feel like your at fault that your boyfriend isn't happy.  What makes you think he's not ?  Is he acting unhappy around you ?  If so, that may be an avenue for you to get him to open up about what he is unhappy about.  Don't push or pry, let him move the conversation along at his pace.  

I wish you well and write back and let me know how you're doing or if you want to chat more.