Expert: Guy Curious - 6/27/2011

Question
Reading through your answers encouraged me to ask.  I've done way too much reading on this and will assume you know what you are talking about since our circumstance (married, male, bi, wife knows) are similar.  Here goes.  After 13 years of marriage (now 15) I told my wife I had these curiosities.  We've had fun with it, toying with each other.  Alot of times, talking about it leads to great sex.  My wife is my soul mate.  I truly believe she feels the same.  I've NEVER had an encounter.  I'd never leave her.

She's pretended to be very open and receptive to me "trying" things out, at first, with her there as part of a MMF threesome.  Then I think her self-image got the best of her.  This led to her telling me to go through with it, without her being there.  IF she's not there, I'm caught up on this "I'm cheating" thing.  Even though I feel I'd have her permission.  Did/does your wife ever join you?  I think if I really thought she was ok with it, I'd go it alone safely of course.

What are some ways to meet the right (married, wife knows) guy to have my first experience with? CL scares the shit outta me, I'm on AFF but havn't paid for subscription for it.
What would be some suggestions for helping wife feel more comfortable with her size.  She really gets going, pretending we're in the MMF.

Answer
My wife is always present when we play with others be it male or another couple.  A woman's self image is a delicate subject.  All you can do is verbally assure her that she is still attractive and that none of us look like we did 15 years ago.  There are many different body types in the Lifestyle.  I've seen 21 year olds with perfect bodies on up to people in their 60's.  

If you believe your wife is sincere in being okay with you exploring without her then the next step is working on your feelings of guilt.  Your wife knows your bisexuality is part of who you are and she wants you to explore to avoid the feelings of regret down the road.  

As for finding others who are sane, drug free, etc. that's a bit of a challenge.  We've been approached by many guys who are bi, married and cheating.  They just don't have the courage to tell their wives who they really are.  I can understand their fears as there are many women who would not accept a bisexual husband.  Male bisexuality still carries a stigma.  Hopefully this will someday change.  We've had some success with www.swinglifestyle.com.  There are many people on this site but most of the guys describe themselves as straight yet we've received emails from these same people and the husband says he is bi.  They're afraid of listing themselves as bi.  

I hope this helps and please write back and let me know how you're doing.