Bisexuality/I don't know what to do
Hi. I am Sea, I am female. I have a best friend and I think and I know I am in love with her. This question is more on love though. Me and my friend is in the verge of breaking up and I blame myself for that. Ever since the day I recognized my feelings for her I started to change. I gave her answers that I know will please her or make her to like me more. I tried to change myself for her. My world revolves around her and that hinders us from having a chill and steady friendship. When I confessed to her, she told me that she cannot offer me anything more than friendship and I agreed cause I don't want to lose her but in reality I was still hoping I'd still get what I want in this relationship -- a relationship beyond friendship. We are friends for three years already and I have tried to ignore and overlook my feelings for her but I can't. I am being rude and disrespectful to her. I lie and say unkind words because I know I can't get what I want. She clearly told me that what she's looking for (a chill steady person for a friend) will never change. What should I do? Should I stay and be friends with this person knowing that I will never get what I want? Or should I leave? Cause I guess the reason why I am being bad to her cause I am aware that I can't get what I want. I am being deprived of what I want. Am I selfish? What should I do? I don't want to make her feel bad and I don't ant to give her any shit. So should I stay or leave?
I know it's hard to have romantic feelings for someone who doesn't share the same. The only thing you can do is respect her position. Pushing her will definitely not get her to change her mind.
If being around her is that difficult for you then I suggest you take a break from seeing her. Let some time pass and see if anything changes. You may meet someone with whom you can have a romantic relationship.
Changing who you are in hopes of making someone else like you is never a good idea. You need to be who you are and let someone fall in love with you because they like the person you are, not the person you project.
I hope this helps and let me know how it turns out.