Expert: ***ERICA*** - 1/24/2008

Question
Hello there, I have recently relocated across the country, and I desperately need to get out of this relationship. We have been together for two years and I was wondering if breaking up over the phone was appropriate, or should I wait and do it in person. He just purchased plane tickets to come and see me without asking me first. When we were living in the same place, everytime I tried to break up with him he would make me feel so bad, I would take him back. I just want out. I don't want to have to be a bitch, but I just need some help on how to get rid of him from 2000 miles away.

Answer
Hi Julia.... I want to say, "Congratulations" for realizing that you don't want to be in a situation and know that.  Just do it - over the phone, text, email, etc... however you need to.  Obviously he isn't respecting you or what you may have going on in your life because he purchased plane tickets without even discussing it with you.... But, make sure that you really want out and when you get out - stay out because going back and forth sends mixed messages and that isn't fair to him.  As 'Nike' would say, "Just Do IT" and move on with your life.  Be nice, honest, but firm..... you don't have to be a bitch in this situation - you can break up with someone - quickly and as firmly as possible.  You can be empathetic to his feelings, but are you going to stay with this person for the rest of your life because you feel bad?  Doubtful.... so, be nice and do it with class..... Good Luck.... and enjoy your new adventure.....