Expert: ***ERICA*** - 1/20/2008

Question
i dated one of of my best guy friends, and this is the second time i've dated him. we told each other that we loved each other and we kissed sometimes and held hands and all of that couple stuff. then he broke up with me, and i have no idea why. he told me that it was him, not me. i still really like him and every time that i talk to him now, it still hurts, but i don't want to show him. i want him back, but i don't want to get hurt. right now i am really depressed and my friends are all concerned about me. what should i do?

Answer
Hi Rashelle,
Everything that you are feeling is the normal way we feel when we lose someone that we care about.  Rejection is very difficult to handle because we often think that it has something to do with us and it rarely does.  The other person just isn't feeling the same way and being honest about it.  There are going to be times in your life when you aren't going to feel the same way about someone who is crazy about you.  It's just life.  Our feelings don't just disappear when someone breaks up with us... it is normal to feel the way you are feeling, but I always recommend that you don't talk to the ex for a period of time because open communication lines make it a lot harder to move on with your life and gives you a false sense of hope.  It's okay that you "think" that you want him back, but do you really want someone back who doesn't want to be with you?  Wouldn't it be better to be with someone - eventually who thinks you are as fabulous as you think they are?  Surround yourself with people you care about and who care about you.... do the things that you enjoy in.... give yourself 10 minutes a day to think about him and then go on with your life..... the pain starts to diminish in time.... Time and taking care of you are the only two things that will make it any easier..... I wish you the best of luck... you gave him 2 chances - do you really want to give him a 3rd????   Good Luck... you deserve more for yourself....