Expert: ***ERICA*** - 1/20/2008

Question
QUESTION: my girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me 3 months ago.  everything seemed to be going great, and then she just ended with no real explanation except that she didn't feel the same way about me as i did her.  this came a few days after we had talked about marriage.  were both 25.  

i cant stop thinking about her.  i have lost desire to go talk to other women.  i cant imagine finding someone out there better than her.  she had everything i wanted in a wife

she now has a new boyfriend and has move out of the state, but she always on my mind.

how can i move on.  will this ever stop

ANSWER: Hi Mark,
Breakups are very difficult and painful.... You move on - slowly - sometimes a second at a time, a minute, an hour, a day, a week, and then finally you realize that you are hurting a little less.  You need to surround yourself with people who care about you, get back into your daily routine, and just focus on yourself for awhile.  I am sure that there were qualities about her that you absolutely adored, but in life - sometimes people don't feel the same way that we do and that really hurts.  Rejection is one of the worst feelings in the world.... She will be on your mind for awhile.... it will stop.... i promise you.... you will always think about her once in a while and it will turn into once in a great while, but it does diminish as long as you take care of you... not jumping into another situation is very smart..... and remember this saying.... "love like you have never been hurt"  because the next fantastic woman that you meet deserves all of you because you are a great person and don't let someone who didn't cherish what a great person you are to ruin something that could potentially be wonderful...... I hope this helps and good luck

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: is it normal for people to just end a relationship and not talk to the other person about it at all?  refusing to give him any real reasons?

is there a reason behind her doing that?  was she mad at me for something i didnt know about

Answer
Hi Mark... The answer to your first question is .... yes.  and yes... When someone has an agenda (eg. another guy in the picture) rarely do they think about the person that they are hurting until there comes a time in their life when the "fantastic" life they think they are living isn't as fantastic as they thought it would be.... another word for this... regret.... Unfortunately, there could be many reasons why she did this (another guy in the wings, someone she was interested in talking to, just not being that into you (which has no reflection on you) sometimes the connection just isn't there.  I can't speculate as to what her reasoning was/is and if you love someone... truly love someone you don't leave them because your angry - you discuss it - scream - yell - curse, etc.... (depending on what the situation is) and then you leave.... So, I really don't believe that this has anything to do with you.  Please try to take baby steps and move on from this very painful period of time in your life.  I promise you that it gets easier.... everything really does happen for a reason... but, if you put blinders on and dwell in this pain for a long time you are going to miss out on great things and great people.... Good Luck