Expert: ***ERICA*** - 1/9/2008

Question
Hello Erica,
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Why, you ask well he was very jealous. Ex...I wanted to go out Saturday night with my sister and he didn't like that idea,so he took a fuse out of my car so I could go, but I had no idea he did this. I called him when the car wouldn't start, he came down and looked at it. He said it seems like the fuel filter had let go ( the whole time he knew what he did) I was crying and he just said " it will be ok." How do I know this, someone had seen him do it and then told me. He later admitted to doing it but said he did it because he loved me and was angry because I didn't want him to come over that night. That is too much to handle, so I broke up with him. Now, I feel so lonely, I want him back, even though he has done other things in the past, I just cant seem to let go. I was hoping he would get better with age. Do you think I did the right thing with letting him go? Oh ya, did I mention, we were engaged?

Erica

Answer
Hi Erica,
Congratulations for being an incredibly smart and strong woman.  It is normal to feel very lonely after a break up... You were with someone for a long time and there is the comfortability factor along with routine.  So, here you are alone now.  Guess what?  You now have the opportunity to do whatever you want/whenever you want to.  It is very hard in the beginning because you probably aren't sure what it is that you enjoy, want to do, where to go, etc.  This is a great time to do reinvent and recreate yourself.  You get to find out what Erica wants out of life and how to get it.... it may even be simple things like what tv shows, food, drinks, music, movies, clothes, trips, etc. that you like.  Develop a strong group of friends and family, meet new people, go on vacation, do whatever it is that you want to do.  Please don't let lonliness take you back to a bad situation and one of the worst things you could do is to jump into another situation.  Take this time for the most important person in your world.... you..... It's very hard in the beginning - but so worth it.. Good Luck.. Erica