Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/16/2008

Question
Hi there ,
I have been dateing the same guy for about 8 months. I met him thru my dad. He is a student in my dad's worker's program. My dad teach's him once a month. At first my dad was ok with me dateing him he just asked me to make sure that this guy didnt spread rumors thru the group about sexual things .. Completely understandable. However as time went on and me and this guy became more serious my dad seemed to start to have a real problem with it. I wolud suggest that me and my boyfriend come over for dinner at my parents house and they would make excuses about being tired or busy .. anyways .... I bring it up to my dad and he say's that he really likes my boyfriend he just doesnt LOVE the idea of teaching somone that's sleeping with his daughter .. even though obviously i am old enough to make these decisions for myself. So 8 months have gone by and my boyfriend is really really good to me ... but arguments have been coming up a lot more about dumb things and i feel myself resenting him almost for pushing me and my dad apart even though its not his fault ... Now I am at the point were I dont even know if i want to be with this guy anymore .. a big part of me is relived at the thought of us breaking things off because i am just not happy ... and another part of me is devastated because he treats me really well and I care about him so much .. I told him that i need a few days away from him to think about things ..
there are other factors too .. like my boyfriend has major trust issues and i have a really hard time dealing with that .. he is insecure and worries about what im doing. He say's its because I never tell him how i feel so i create these questions in his mind... I am so confused right now and I dont know what to do .. I dont want to throw away this great realtionship with this guy and regret it later ... but at the same time i dont know if i can go on with him and really be happy .. I used to be able to see myself with him long term .. but now I cant. The thought of being on my own right now is just so appealing. I dont know if i am just not ready for a serious relationship like this .. Im 23 years old and he is 24 .. so we are both young .. please give me an outsiders point of view that doesnt know me and tell me what you think i should do and why i am feeling the way i feel .. I am a mess and i cant figure anything out right now .. sorry to blabber on
thank you

Angie

Answer
Dear Angie,
You really need some time to soul search and figure out what it is that you want.  Do you not want to be with him because of your dad or do you not want to be with him because as you are getting to know him better he isn't exactly who you want to be with.  These are very important questions.  If he is great to you and you are happy that is one thing, but you state that you aren't happy and you deserve to be happy.  My suggestion would be to take some time without giving him any false hope and see how you feel when you are away from him for awhile.  Things may clarify themselves for you while you take some time away.  I hope this helps... Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica