Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/13/2008

Question
I have been in a relationship with this guy since I was 19. We lived together with his family almost 1 yr into it. I broke up with him 4yrs ago for about a year because I was feeling direspected and emotionally abused. We got back together after 8 months of separation in hopes things would change. we moved into a house with a roommate 4 yrs ago. I agreed to do it to see if things would work. But after about 3 years I"m finding that we spend no quality time together we try but it always seems forced. He and I don't  have the same interests and goals anymore and i don't want to have sex with him anymore, I feel like we are more friends then lovers now. I have  wanted to end it for about 2 yrs, But I still love him very much and don't want to break his heart and destroy his life. He has few friends and is not close with his family. Pretty much my family is his family. I want to stay friends and continue to have him my life. We live together and I don't know how to break the news.What should I do?

Answer
Dear Sinders,
You are cheating yourself out of having a great relationship with someone.  If you really don't feel the passion and desire to be with him anymore then the best thing you can do for the 2 of you is to end it.  Of course you would love to keep him in your life, but that is going to have to be his decision as to whether or not he can handle it.  We have to try and be as selfless as possible when we are faced with these decisions because what we want may not be what is in the best interest of the other person.  However, you are entitled to have a great life and you should have the ability to meet someone new.... it is a horrible feeling to feel alone when you aren't alone.... I would make a decision, be firm, and stick to your decision.  Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica