Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/29/2008

Question
My bf actually broke up with me last tuesday. It hurts. He
says he feels that he is not in love with me anymore, and he also says he wants tobe single. i believe he fell out of infatuation. He says things that did not bother him before, not annoys him. I believe since things were not the same as before, maybe he thought that it was not love anymore.
I actually went through the same feelings a couple months back, and thought he was so irritating, but i went thru the stage. I think hes at the stage, and decides that it was not love anymore beciase things were not the same as in the beguinning.
We been together for over three years. The funny thing is the weekend before we had a great time. well actually every weekend has been great.If he did not love me why did he continuetocaress my hair, to say i love you every night, to hold my hand, and to continure to see me and watch movies with me. I was in shock because i
thought we were happy.

he also said he is having stress with school, and feels like he notready for a relationship or commitment. We have not talk since wednesday I really dont know what to do. Oh, im 22 and he 23 if that helps.

I just have one more question,. so i wont take up too much of your time. I have not spoken to him since wednesday, but on sunday i decided to write a letter and mail it to him. in the letter i confront him and ask him why could you do all of those things that i mention and say you fell out of love. i said maybe you fell out of infatuation. i told him i felt the same things a couple months back, and i thought he was sos irritating, and annoying, but yet i knew there was still love there because i still wanted to see him. however, i told him since he did want to be single, go ahead and be single. i just thought i was never tying you down. I told him, the biggest difference between me and him was that i passed thru the infatuation stage, and he is at it right now, anddecide it not love anymore.

i txt him happy-bday yesterday. he wrote back saying-thank you and um i got your leter today. That was it, i did not write back.

What else should i do? should i continure to wait and have hope???


Answer
Dear Mil,
Having hope does not allow you to move on.... I would have one last good cry and get busy making your own life happen.... make it the best life you possibly can.... place all of the memories in a special place within your heart.... this will keep you busy and no matter what happens you will eventually be okay.... the hardest part of it all is that it takes time... time is the only thing that heals our wounds.... Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica