Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/23/2008

Question
Hi Erica

I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday having been together for 3 months. It was a great, fun filled 3 months and we basically saw each other every day. I wasn't always sure she was the one but i have a history of not giving girls a chance so decided i would give this one a go.

Like i say it was great, we got on well, the odd tiff here and there but generally it was good. At the same time though i battled again to get excited about a future with her and never felt like i was falling in love with her. I could tell she was starting to like me more and more so i decided to end it right then and there. For it her it was a massive shock and it was literally from out of nowhere when i told her so i know she is hurting. Thing is i am pretty certain she is not the one for me but i find it really hard to explain this to her.

She is 34 so i think that makes her real sad that she has been dumped again, her previosu boyfriend of 3 years did the same, and naturally it is now inducing all sorts of pessimsitic, negative thoughts in her head. Thing is she is a great girl, beautiful and kind but we just did  not click in my eyes so i want to send her a killer letter that will put a smile back on her face and get her back on track.

Any advice will much appreciated.

Thanks

Martin  

Answer
Dear Martin,
Please don't send her a letter or contact her.  Let her get over the pain of being dumped (even though you knew you didn't want to be with her.)  It is not your responsibility to make her feel better and you may actually be doing a lot more damage by writing that killer letter than helping.  She needs to go through a grieving process and that means.... leaving her alone.... for a significant period of time.... Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica