Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/6/2008

Question
My boyfriend brokeup with me over a month ago.  I think he left me for
someone else since I have not heard from him in 6 weeks. I haven't called
him either since he just up and left me out of the blue.  I have a counselor
and she has helped me, but I can't stop thinking about him.  I still hurts so
bad to even think of him with another person since we had a good
relationship, and I think that something or someone else got into the picture.
I still hope that he will call to at least tell me the truth, or to at least say he
was sorry for leaving. He was so cold to just up and leave. We had the most
incredible world wind romance for 3 months and he kept telling and showing
me how much he cared, loved me and that I was the best thing. I know in my
heart that I treated him better than anyone else that he could possibly be
with, however, it must not have meant much to him.  I have a feeling that
when the person that he is with figures out who he really is, he will just show
up at my doorstep or call, and I wouldn't know what to say or do even if this
would happen. I feel that I should just slam the door in his face so I don't
have to be lied to or to even give him the satisfaction of knowing that I cared
so much. I had no closure so maybe I should listen, but maybe I won't be
given the chance. Tell me what to do...

Answer
Dear Rosealee,
I would shut the door in his face... What you would be accepting is a man who left you for someone else - that didn't work out and then decides to come back to you because it didn't work with the other person.... well, what stops him from doing it again??  If you are a great caring person then give yourself to someone who respects you, your feelings, and can show the same in return.  We all want closure from someone that we care about when things don't work out, but rarely do we get it and if we do get it - rarely do we get the answers that we need.  You said it best.... you weren't that important to him.... and guess what .... you are that important and you need to be that important to yourself and you will be to someone else who deserves you.... Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica