Expert: ***ERICA*** - 11/7/2008

Question
hi m priya im 21 yrs its starts here i met a guy online he is 26 yrs old we chatted for a month n finaly we decided to meet i dnt knw talkig to this guy made me realise that he was the 1 made for me ..n then aftre meeting him 2-3 time i went at his place n we eventually started kissing smooching each other ...at his place.. this guy told me that he was in relationship with a girl for three years but somehow situations went wrong n the girl left him ..n he was madly in love with this girl..he said after she broke up with him he was after her for 2 years but the girl got married some where...so it was like i use to hear his past stories ..and he manny times cried in front of me ..i dnt knw y ..by listening to his talks he was really a broken hearted...

.it was like the a month  after we kissed each other his behaviour was totally diffrent .. his used to cal me very frequently ..i told this to 1 of my friend she suggested me to ask the guy whether he is serious to me or no...but listeing to my friends i asked him abt the commitment but gave reasons like he is not well setteled and all ...at this point i use to feel very much used ..thoughts like he is using me came in my mind and even my friends suggested me to leave him...and due to my friens i gave him bad words that u r using me and all..but i dnt knw i use to feel pitty about him and after telling him so much i use to go back to him ....but some where in my mind i was relysing that he only liked me he was not in love with me ...but then too i continued with him but..

after 2 months of our relationship my parents caught me with ths guy and the situations went so worse that my dad cal this guy and abused him by saying that he will log a complain against him ...aftre this incident he told me to move on..but some how i really tried hard to work this relationship..but after this incident he was totally changed ...whenver i used to call him he would say that he is busy ..whenver i told him to meet he use to give me some reasons that he cant meet ..that he has a lot of work and all...he even shifted for the the place where he use to stay..at this point i was feeling that he is no more intersted in me ...but then  i forced him too meet me..and whenever i use to meet him he starts

crying ..he use to say i like you a lot  ..whenevr i use to tell him that meet me he said m busy ...and manny times it happend i got to his office to meet him...and when ever i met him he used to cry....i dnt knw y he cries whenver i use to meet him...and it was like i forcefully made me to meet me...n whenver i met him he started crying ...i dint knw what i was doing..whts going on..and then slowly slowly he staterd ignoring me by ...

the situations went so worse that whenever i use to talk about our relatioship he use  to tell he dnt want ot talk about this..he told me even i was in commited relationship in my past ...he told wht happend she left me...he said love but dnt make it ur life ...he said i can never love the way i use to love her ex-gf..i dont knw wht

i was doing ...and when i us to call him he use to fight with me that i ask him lot of questions ..n he told me to stop calling him and stop messaging him...this day i felt so hurted that i decided to never call this guy nor msg him but the next day he calls me and says that he was a bit stressed up due to work so he was a  frustrated and he told all this...but after this its been 1month i had nor messaged him nor called him...and same with his case..now the situation is that i dnt understand wht should i do shd i cal him or not ..i really love him a lot i dnt want to loose him..i m very much confused i dnt understand wht to do...i feel very much hurted ......i hope u help me out for this waiting for ur reply...

Answer
Hi,
I have to be honest and tell you that I really think that you need to let this man go and move on with your life.  He is definitely not interested in being in a relationship with you and the more you try to talk to him the more you are going to feel rejected.  Try to treasure the good times and talks that you had, but he didn't want to be with you and it isn't your fault sometimes people that we care about just don't feel the same way about us.  I would definitely leave him alone because you don't want to look desperate.  Please understand that if he wants to get in touch with you he will, but even then I would be very cautious as to how much time I spend with him and whether or not you should even talk to him at that point.  But, for now please let him go because you are only going to keep hurting yourself.  Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica