Expert: Dana Q - 11/8/2008

Question
me and my boyfriend have just broke up after two and a half years.I am finding it hard to let go. We left on good terms and are still friends. I have decided to move to western Australia for a fresh start. I wasn't sure if i should have told him this or not but i did. Last night i called and we spoke and just chatted casually, but my gut is telling me something isn't right. Did i make a mistake by telling him i was leaving? Is it unhealthy to continue to speak so regularly so soon after we broke? After a relationship having time, is this important and if it is, which I'm feeling it is, can you tell me why? Thank you. As you can see I'm feeling a little confused.

Answer
Hi Sheree,

Thanks for writing to me.  My general advice regarding break-ups is to make a clean break rather than to try to remain "friends" after the break-up.  When people continue contact, it is likely that one of them (usually the person who initiates the contact) still has feelings for the other person.  Therefore, he/she will not be able to move on past the relationship as long as the contact continues.  Now that you will be moving, it's time for you to make a truly fresh start and not contact your ex again.

Good Luck,

Dana Q