Expert: ***ERICA*** - 2/4/2008

Question
After just being rejected from my dream undergraduate school, I'm already upset. The thing that is worst, is that my boyfriend will be attending this same college and it seems now we will have to go to different schools. (I held on to the hope that we could be together. Currently, our parents aren't happy with us seeing each other because they think we are too young to date at all. So, being able to go to school with him is all I could ask for.) I know high school relationships are a dime a dozen, but I've been with him nearly all four years - and at this age that sort of relationship is pretty rare. With so many other people to date, I know he's special because we've been together and really happy for so long, even through some pretty tough issues between our families. The thing is, I'm still really happy with him. I know we both decided to try and make things work, but I also know that the chances of that happening are slim, and all because we are in two different places. That's what hurts the most. I can't let myself give up something that I know could have worked out in the end. I can't stand the thought of being without him. And on the other hand, we're young and there will be temptation at parties, and I hope the only reason we've been able to resist so far is not because we see each other every day. I don't want to be hurt like that either. I know in the end I want to try, and that I probably will be hurt either way. I just want to know if it is possible or if anyone has successfully held on to such a relationship. (By the way, there is a good chance I will be going to school in a completely separate state)

Answer
Hi Melanie,
Does it happen.... yes.... Often??? No... The reason is... college is a whole new experience and a great one... This is a time where you will learn a lot about yourself, what you want to do with the rest of your fabulous life, and meet so many great people.  College is when you do a lot of changing to define who you really are.  It is going to be extremely hard to let go of something that means so much to you, but you have to give yourself the chance to grow as a person. IF, the two of you want to stay together - trust me nothing can break that bond, but it is going to take a lot of sacrifice and hardship.  If the two of you go your seperate ways for a while - know that when something is meant to be - it will all work out.... that I promise.... There are going to be so many temptations and you are going to have such a great experience after you are there for a little while.... that I promise as well... Give yourself this chance to grow and if things are meant to be - they will..... Good Luck and I hope this helps.... It doesn't matter what age we are - it still hurts...