Expert: ***ERICA*** - 2/25/2008

Question
my girlfriend and dated for 5 months.  were both 26.  i live in her state, where i go to school.  my family lives in another state.

2 months into our realtionship, she asked me to meet her family.  i told her i couldnt because i had already planned to go home for a couple weeks bc i hadnt seen my family in a while.  i had already met 2 of her sister.  when i came back, her family would be in town from time to time, and they would go out to dinner, but she wouldnt ask me to come.

after 2 more months went by, i asked her if we could go down to her moms house to meet them.  she said ok, and that she doesnt just take anyone home.  we went, had a good time, and her mom loved me.

a week after this, she asked me i fi would come home with her for the holidays and then she would come to my home after, and again i told her that i would probably go home, bc these were the only times i get to see my family.  she woudl also tell me stories about how her friends boyfreind had told her friend that he wanted to take her back to his house to meet all of his family.  

when we first started dating, she ask me what my mom thougth about her, and i told her that i dont talk to my mom about my girlfriends a lot.  then a month later, i told her that my mom knew about her and thati had told her about her now.  later on in the relationship, she asked if i thought my mom would like her, and i said yes.

but her comments asking me to come home with me for holidays, would also be followed the next by 'i cant go with you to your house'  with some flimsy excuse.  it was strange to say it a day after she asked about it.  

this was also a girl who wanted to get married soon, as she told me she wanted a proposal in the next year and a half.   i told her that i would.  i also asked her if she would move in with me when her lease expired, and she said 'maybe'

do you see anything in this 'inviting her to my house' as an issue with her.  do you think she was upset that i never said 'i want you to come home to meet my family'?  she knew how much i liked her, and i told her i wanted her forever, and all my actions would show to her that i wanted her.  we would talk about the wedding all the time.

would this inviting her home be an issue?

thanks

Answer
Hi Tracey,

I don't believe so.  I think there may be more going on than what you are being told.  I think that it is important that you sit down and have an honest and open conversation with her about what is going on.  Maybe her feelings are hurt and she is taking a step back, but I wonder if there isn't more going on with this situation.  The best thing in a relationship is honesty and I would just let her know how you feel and what you are thinking and see what her response is.  Please email me back so that I have more information to go with after you have a conversation with her.  Good Luck