Expert: ***ERICA*** - 3/17/2008

Question
My boyfriend of one year and I split up two weeks ago.  He's been calling and trying to "be friends."  When I told him that I can't do that right now and I'm not sure that I will want to down the road, he was really insulted and acted like I was being cruel.  Well, today, I found emails on my computer from his Match.com website that dates all the way back to Thanksgiving!  Jerk!  I had left it that I would contact him if and when I wanted to, but now I feel  like I want to say that's never going to happen and how could he even expect me to feel obligated into friendship when he's been doing this for months!  My question is...should I just let it go and never call or call him out and let him know that I know?  What is the best way to do it if I should tell him that I know?

Answer
Dear Kelly,
I would say nothing and allow that to be even more justification as to why you shouldn't be with him.  I know that when you are angry and feeling betrayed that the first thing we want to do is lash out, but where does it really get us except more hurt and angry.  Just put this into your mind when you are feeling sad about your situation and let things play out as they may.  Think the whole situation through... will it really change anything except maybe make you feel a tiny bit better for a very short time?? No.... So, again... allow this to be more motivation to stay away from him and to define his character.... and move on to a FABULOUS LIFE... Good luck and I wish you the best..