Expert: ***ERICA*** - 3/18/2008

Question
I've been dating my boyfriend for six months. He would always tell me that he had never met such a good girl before and didn’t know if he could measure up …after 6 months of dating he stopped calling me, I would call him once in a while and he would pretend everything was ok. After three weeks of a very awkward relationship .I called him crying and asking why he was being so distant. He told me he had never met such a beautiful , intelligent , honest ….girl , and that I was special to him , and that it is hard for a man (he’s thirty ) when  he meets the girl that he thinks could be THE one .He also added he had many serious relationships but that for the first time in his life he knew it wasn’t a “wait and see relationship” ,and that if we stay together he is 100% sure he will marry me.
I was shocked, I never talked about commitment .But   here’s a clue:
Before we dated, he told me he had broken up a year ago with his long term girlfriend who cheated on him when he was deeply in love with her  , and therefore he didn’t trust women anymore and didn’t want anything serious for the next few years...
Anyway, he told me he wanted to take a break because he wanted to figure out certain things about his life, and that he wanted to date other girls before settling down. I told him I didn’t want to wait forever, he answered back “yeah, right! I bet you’ll call me one day and tell me you’ve found someone better than me”.
He told me he needed time, but it’s been 4 months .4 months of crying night and day. My friends tell me that time will make me forget him…but I miss him more than ever.
I love him and I don’t know how to make him come back, I know he is the love of my life .I don’t  know what he is afraid of. Thanks for answering  

Answer
Dear Juliana,
Please please please... move on with your life... You are too FABULOUS and WONDERFUL to sit around and wait for some guy to date other women and then maybe come back to you and settle down with you??? NO WAY!!  When you love someone and want to be with them you don't want to be away from them... it doesn't sound like what you described above... it just doesn't..... period..... He is just NOT THAT INTO YOU and you need to find someone who is.... He doesn't deserve you because there is no man or woman on the face of this earth that would let the person that they believe they could "spend the rest of their life with" go.... NEVER... He is basically not wanting to be in a commited relationship with you, but wants you to wait around in the event that he doesn't find someone else in the process.  Well, you are too good for that and guess what ..... everyone has been hurt by an ex before... that doesn't even stop men or women from getting involved again.... Let him go and move on with your life... please.... you are WORTH much much more than that... We have to stop making excuses for unacceptable behavior!!  Good Luck and I hope this helps.... Have one more good cry - accept that its over and find the man of your dreams.... Warmest Wishes..