Expert: ***ERICA*** - 3/25/2008

Question
my girlfriend had broken up with me a week ago, we were the kind of couple that talked about our futures together.I always thought she was the one.Now i really dont know what to do with myself, i put my whole life into her. I used to find pleasure in music, playing guitar, and talking to her. She had been my best friend for years now, i told her everything and talked to her for hours in a day. Now i try to listen to music but it only reminds me of her. I try to play guitar but i used to wright songs about her which i loved to play. She lives one street over, i can see her house out my window...we used to go for walks all the time so now i cant even go outside. Everyone tells me to get a hobby but everything reminds me of her, i dont know what to do with myself i just sit around all day which makes it worse cause then i think about all the good times we had


Answer
Hi Eric,
Sitting around all day thinking about the good times isn't the best thing for you to do.  Allow yourself an hour a day for the short term to think about the good times and then take that to a half hour and then fifteen minutes.  Eventually, it gets easier.... you need to find out what it is that you really like to do and become passionate about it again.  Treasure the great moments that you shared with her, but then get busy building your own life again.  We can't lose ourselves in relationships.  We have to maintain our own life so that if things don't work out we don't feel like we have nothing in it.  You are allowing her to have a lot of power over what it is that you do... Surround yourself with family and friends and start living your life again..... The only thing that is really going to make you feel better is time.... unfortunately.... that is the only cure for a broken heart..... Good Luck and I wish you the best.... Warmest Wishes, Erica