Expert: ***ERICA*** - 3/26/2008

Question
I broke up with my boyfriend of 1 and a half years 5 days ago. I took n overdose and ended up in hospital. About 2 days ago he told me he is now going out with someone else. He says he still cares about me and wants to stay close friends. Things aren't going very well for me I feel so depressed and don't feel as if I can move on. I still have really strong feelings for him and I think that he is with this other girl because it takes the pain away from splitting up with me. I really want to get him back, but i am not the type of person to cheat or split up a relationship, so for now i'm gonna try and move on. The only problem is i don't know how. I don't feel as if i can get my life back to normal because I keep thinking of him. I've heard from his friends that the relationship with her looks as if it isn't going to last very long as there is no communication beween them. If he does become single again how do you think I cold attract him and get him back. Because I really can't live without him. We got really serious and he was supposed to propose to me on my 19th, I really need him because I have many other problems in my life and he was always there to help.

Answer
Hi Alice,
First of all I would suggest that you seek some professional help because you state that you are so depressed and actually took an overdose.  Whether you believe this or not you will recover from this heartbreak.  There is noone in this world that should ever have that kind of a hold on us that would cost us our life.  Here is an opportunity for you to recreate yourself, your life, your goals, your desires, etc.  You just need to find the courage to make the decision to do that.  What may have happened is that you spent so much time with him and the two of you had a life together that you lost your own "life" in the process.  Here is where you have to start rediscovering yourself.  Mourning the loss of a relationship is extremely difficult - there isn't an easy solution except for time.  Time really does heal all wounds, but you need to take control of your own life.  We have no control over a relationship or another person.  The only thing that we have control over is ourselves and our choices.  I would hope that you can find just enough courage to realize that you have a long life ahead of you and that I promise the pain will start to subside when you decide that your life is worth living and you start living it.... Good Luck and I wish you the best.  Warmest Wishes, Erica