Expert: ***ERICA*** - 3/7/2008

Question
My boyfriend of 6 months has been wonderful to me. We are in our mid-late 20's. He’s very complimentary, affectionate, and sweet. We talk everyday and see eachother every week. He makes me smile and laugh so much and our sex life is terrific. Everything was so good between us, felt so perfect.  Just recently, I got upset at him for neglecting to call me when we had plans. I got upset, and told him I didn’t like waiting for him. The next morning, he told me his work was planning to transfer him to another state for work. I was heartbroken, started pouring my heart out to him, and becoming clingy. The next day, he told me didn’t have to move after all and I apologized for my reactions, if I had scared him by being clingy. He didn’t mind, and told me he would take me out all next week since he did have to go out of town for work the next couple of days. We spoke everyday he was gone, & he sent me a picture of him in his hotel. I recognized the background as his closet and I asked him about it when I came over after he had came home. He denied it, so I decided to ignore the issue, and we had a great evening. The next morning before I left for work, he told me he wanted to make me dinner the next day. When i got to work, the picture was still in my mind and I asked him again to be honest with me and he said he was.  He then got upset and told me he was tired of me accusing him, and called off plans for dinner. This happened Monday this week. I have tried to apologize, but he has not responded. I even asked him if not speaking to me was his way of moving on, that it was fine and that I would really miss him, but I hope that we could put this behind us and move on and continue what we have.  Some people told me he needed space and didn't know how to tell me or doesn't know how to handle this situation, hence, the reason why he is "hiding." I don't know if the relationship is over or not seeing as he is not responding. Should I wait or move on? I'm trying to optimistic, but its been 4 days with contact with him. I'm really heartbroken. Should I email him anything, if any? I can't believe he is throwing what we have, if he is.. Thanks in advance for your advice.

Answer
Dear Tram,
If things were so wonderful in the relationship then why did you feel like he was lying to you?  I mean - I know that when I feel secure in a relationship the last thing I do is question what my partner is doing.  Therefore, either you have some of your own insecurities to work through or your woman's intuition is right and something is just not adding up.  I would definitely not approach him in any way, shape, or form.  And, if this is how he handles situations I would question whether or not it is acceptable.  Again - if you have your own insecurities then you need to work on those - noone can make you feel secure except for you. BUT, if you think something isn't right - typically it isn't and you will just have to wait this one out.  However, please keep your self respect and dignity during this time.  Time reveals all truths... trust me.... Good Luck...