Expert: ***ERICA*** - 3/20/2008

Question
My friend and I are about 12 miles away and attend different schools but here’s the thing I think he’s cheating on me. Yesterday one of my friends told me they wanted to talk to me so I talked with her and she was saying things like she did not like me and she said that my boyfriend Tray said to stop saying things about him at the school I am attending. But I the thing is that no one knows that we are dating. So talking with her was kind if weird I did not feel right and I did not know what to say. She kept saying things like leave Tray and I alone so that gave me some hints that he maybe cheating on me. I want to ask him but I don’t know what to say to him or how to pop up the question. I just want some answers from him but my friend Val told me to leave him alone and break up with him so I won’t be questioning my relationship. I need desperate help.

Answer
Dear Ang,
Ok... I am a little confused.  You mention that he is your friend and then you say that you think he is cheating on you.  I have a few questions... how can he be cheating if he is only your friend and WHY does noone know that the two of you are dating?  First of all you need to keep your own self dignity and self respect and if this situation is uncomfortable for you then you should get out.  Who cares what other people say... seriously... if we listened to what everyone said - wow... we would be exhausted... If you want to ask him you should...... don't worry about how to do it... you just do it - period.  You have the right to know where you stand, what is going on, and how he feels about you.  You need to know that you are an amazing person and have to believe that your needs and feelings are just as important as anyone else's... Good luck and let me know more detailed information so I can help you out better.  Warmest Wishes, Erica