Expert: ***ERICA*** - 4/18/2008

Question
QUESTION: Divorced 15 months (she was the instigator), we share custody of 6yo boy. She has been in another relationship (with man who lives 1000km away). I keep out of her way/don't interfere. I was a stay at home dad, she a career woman. No abuse/addiction. Split due to drifting apart; could have been worked on. I want to be a cooperative co-parent but her anger gets in the way. But why is she so angry with me?

ANSWER: Hi Paul,
Not quite sure based on the information that you gave me.  She could be mad for a reason that you may not even know of.  She may be angry at herself, unhappy with herself, unhappy with her life, etc.  If the two of you are atleast on amicable terms why don't you try to have a conversation with her or send her an email telling her how impotant it is to you to have a good relationship with her for the sake of the child and that you did at one point love her very much and that if she ever needs to talk that you are there for her.  No pressure.  Hopefully she will find comfort in that and if something is bothering her - you may be surprised and she may share it with you.  If not... then you can be a cooperative parent without having to deal with her by just placing all of the focus and conversations about the child..... I hope this helps and good luck.... Tough situation... Warmest Wishes, Erica

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Erica,
My ex may be jealous of my excellent relationship with our boy (hers is not as warm). She has taken no responsibility for the break-up. She is in a relationship so why she wants to vent at me is a mystery.

Answer
Hi Paul... Express to her how you feel and tell her that you aren't going to accept being treated that way and if she continues to treat you in an unhealthy manner maybe you can work something out where the 2 of you aren't around each other during the pick up/drop off visitation times.  Or if you can.... try to just blow it off realizing that she is obviously unhappy with herself for whatever reason.  Kudos for being a wonderful father and she is lucky that you are such a wonderful father.  You never know what may be lurking inside of her..... Warmest Wishes, Erica