Expert: ***ERICA*** - 4/7/2008

Question
Hi. Me and my ex have been broken up for almost 7 months now. He broke up with me because I was a horrible girlfriend. 2 years ago he was obsessed with me and I kept dating and breaking up for the stupidest reasons and he would always come back to me. We were always on and off for a year and a half. I treated him horribly. Then one day he couldn't take it so he did the breaking up. I thought we would get back together because we always had. After the break up the sex continued.. which was a mistake. He always did tell me I love you too but I cant go back out. Then finally he stopped saying I love you. The sex continued for a while. Then a month ago we went to Montreal with friends and i shared a room with him and obviously stuff happened. We were there for 2 nights and we acted like we were dating again..holding hands etc. then when we came back he acted cold and when i asked him if he regretted anything he said he just doesn't want to go back out. My biggest problem is that I see him almost everyday. My best friend is also his good friend and we have the same friends. I don't want to meet someone new. I just don't know what to do..

Answer
Hi Ashlee,
Unfortunately, until you accept that it is over there isn't anyway that you are going to move on from this situation.  Somehow you have to try to limit the amount of contact that you have with him so that you can begin the healing process.  Since the two of you have had a history and pattern of being on again/off again and riding an emotional roller coaster that makes it even more difficult to begin to accept that it is over because when there was a time that you may have thought it was over - it wasn't.  So, it is very important that you do have other interests and friends outside of his presence because if you don't you won't be able to start healing.  I hope this helps and good luck.  Warmest Wishes, Erica