Expert: ***ERICA*** - 4/15/2008

Question
QUESTION: My boyfriend of a little over a year and me broke up two weeks ago. I was
totally in love with him, he was my first kiss and we even talked of getting
married. I broke up with him because 12 of my closest friends told me he
said he liked someone else but within a few hours I realized I had my the
biggest mistake of my life. A guy friend told him I felt that way the next day
(w/out my permission) but he didn't seem to care.four days later he told
another one of my friends he had been like "brother and sister" with he loved
her. To this day he claims he didn't like her until the day before that and he's
not known to lie. She really likes him and I want them both to be happy and
still be friends with both but I'm finding that I still love him, a lot. At first they
wouldn't date because they didn't want to hurt me and I told them both
repeatedly I was ok with it. Now their parents won't let them cause his mom
and her dad don't like eachother. Yet they still talk constantly, sit by eachother  
at lunch, say I love you,hug etc. And I find myself crying over it. What on
earth can I do?

ANSWER: Hi Lindsey,
Ouch... as much as they are trying to be thoughtful about your feelings in this situation... they aren't being thoughtful enough because it was way too early to have you exposed to that.  Anyway, I would surround myself with some new friends and try to limit the amount of times you actually see them together.  That way it gives you some time to heal.  I understand that it hurts and that is only natural....Try to stay away as much as you can because seeing it will only reopen a scab that needs time to heal.  You are really an amazing person for even being able to be so understanding and wish for their happiness - that is very kind of you.... But, don't set yourself up for misery either.  Stay cordial with them, but keep a nice distance too.  Warmest Wishes, Erica

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks so much for your consideration and answer. it really helped. it is actually becoming harder now because I am finding that he really likes her but she's only using him to get to another guy. I'm really scared for him cause i don't want him to feel the way I do now. You don't have to reply but i'll take all the advice I can get. Thanks, LINDSEY

Answer
Hi Lindsey,
You can hope that he makes the right decision(s) quietly... and be his biggest fan from afar.... but, you need time to heal.... As much as we would love to control their actions and choices... we can't... we can only control ours ... I know easier said than done.... I wish you the best... Good Luck... Warmest Wishes, Erica...   PS.  It does get harder before it gets easier...